Learning to have conversations with people whom we disagree with is an important marital skill. The purpose of this assignment is to actually use what we have been discussing in class so as to enable you to learn more fully the skills necessary in resolving conflict in marriage.
To complete this assignment, you will need to either:
Resolve a conflict with another person
Have a conversation with someone about something with which you disagree.
Important Rules:
If you have a significant other, please speak with them. If not, feel free to speak with a roommate, friend, or family member.
This has to be a conversation that happened during this class . It cannot be a conversation that has happened in the past . You will lose 50 points if you use an old conversation.
If there is a major issue you have with someone, don’t choose that topic. THE PURPOSE OF THIS ASSIGNMENT IS NOT TO START AN UNNECESSARY FIGHT. Select a topic that is meaningful enough to have a conversation, but not so intense as to provoke a serious argument. If this conversation would be counter-productive with a spouse, you are welcome to complete this assignment with someone else.
In your paper, describe the following (please use the bolded items as headings in your paper):
Briefly describe the conflict or disagreement situation. Remember, a conflict doesn’t have to be contentious.
What steps did you take to resolve conflict or understand the other person more deeply?
Specifically, describe the principles or skills that you learned in this class that you applied to resolve the conflict.
Choose two of the following principles/skills to apply:
Speaker/Listener Technique
Skills discussed by Gottman, such as:
Resisting the 4 Horsemen (e.g., using complaint rather than criticism)
Soft Start-up
Manage flooding
Repair attempt
What you learned about communication from doing this assignment. (This should be at least one paragraph; it is the most important part of the paper!)